99.) We promise not to say anything too foal! Required fields are marked *. Why did the pony yell?He wanted to be herd. Q: How do you hire a horse? Q: Why did the cowboy feed his horse so much hay? Want more animal jokes? Yes please, says the horse.Hey, a one horse open sleigh isnt the only fun thing to ride.If you are a horse, you will always be my first pick.I call my son Seabiscuit because all he does is horse around.Those things they put in horses mouths do they hurt?A bit.Horses can run smoothly on a frozen racecourse But not furlong.How do horses cast their vote?By saying yay or neigh!Youll never find a horse using an Android phone.They only like Apples.What do you say to a horse after it loses a bet?Pony up!Where do horses love to shop?Old Neigh-vy. Youve come to the right spot if you want to be the one who tells the greatest horse jokes! 40.) 45.) When he fell off, he realized it wasnt in-neigh-te. In this list, you will find everything from horse puns to jokes to horse memes. 58.) Theyre great to drop into your daily conversations too! Do you know what happened to the man that tried to wash the horses mane? I didnt like the horse comedian that much. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? The outside. Q: What looks like half a horse? From pig puns to whale wisecracks, there's definitely at least one joke on this list that will make your child literally laugh out loud. Have you heard of the neigh-metal band, The Foals? What happens when a horse forgets its umbrella?It gets wet. After the horse left the starting gate, he stopped and closed it behind him.Youre riding a horse full speed, theres a giraffe right beside you, and a lion nipping at your heels. Q: What did the mommy horse say to her foal? Where do horses go when they hurt themselves? About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features NFL Sunday Ticket Press Copyright . This section holds lots of jokes so kids can expand their sense of humor and creative thinking. Why would the circus need a bartender?. This article is filled with hilarious horse jokes perfect for any equestrian or birthday party. Where do horses live. What do you call a horse thats been all around the world?A globe-trotter. "I thought you were going to take that horse to the farm!". A: A little horse play. Can the government, ecologists, and advocates find a humane solution for managing them? 85.) Q: How do you save a horse possessed by an evil spirit? 21.) As the engine sputters and shuts down the woman driving the car steers toward a nearby driveway and honks the horn hoping to get the attention of a guy herding cattle in the distance. What looks like half a horse?The other half. The cowboy couldnt believe his eyes. Q: What did the momma say to the foal? How did the pony win the hide and seek game? Where do horses go when theyre sick?The horse-pital. Q: Which football team do horses always cheer for? Horses live in every region of the world except Antarctica and the northern Arctic regions of North America, Europe and Asia. They will always take offense! Toledo who?Toledo horse to water is easy. Q: What did the horse say in the hundred acre wood? When do vampires like horse racing?When its neck and neck. Most horses are domesticated which means they live alongside humans. 73.) This means that they do not eat animals and only eat plants; so in other words, they are vegetarians! What kind of car do fancy horses drive. Knock knock. I put a bet on a horse to. Where do horses go when they're sick? Everyone loves horses and its ride. There are so many amusing things that may occur in a barn, especially when horses are present! What happened when they invited the controversial speaker on horses? The Pottery Barn! These 35 horse puns will make you whinny and neigh while you clutch your sides. The dogs look at each other, amazed.Bloody hell, did you see that? He stops and says, I dont mean to brag, but Ive won 68 of my last 70 races.The horses all look at each other.Holy shit, says the first one, a talking dog!One-One was a racehorse.One-two was one too. Dont miss these unfunny anti-jokes that youll still laugh at anyway. Q: Where do horses shop for clothes? The waiter says, "Hey.". It goes: 1: THE HORSE (S) 2: DADDY'S MONEY 3: YOUR MONEY 4: YOU. I dont mean to boast, says the greyhound, but in my last 90 races, Ive won 88 of them!, The horses are clearly amazed. What kind of food do racehorses like to eat? How did the cowboy ride into town on Friday, stay for three days, and ride out on Friday?His horses name was Friday! They found a lot of foal play! (broken is used to describe when a horse is trained). What did the judge say to the naughty pony?No more tricks or Ill use prison stripes and youll look like any other zebra. If your kid loves horses as much as they love laughing, they'll get a kick out of these hilarious horse jokes! Yes please, says the horse. Where do horses live. It walks out the bar knocking over a few tables. Q: How do horses from Alabama greet horses from Ohio? He tried to stir up a lot of equestrians! Kitchen Night-Mare! 33.) A: Because he was scratched so often. What did the lunch lady say to the horses?Stop horsing around. A. Help! Q. jokes for kids, Did you hear what happened to the best horse racer of all time? How do bees brush their hair. 27 Best Psychology Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Laugh, 41 Hilarious Dirty Jokes to Laugh Your Heart Out (NSFW), 37 Anti Jokes That You Shouldnt Be Laughing At, 27 Funniest Stupid Jokes You Just Have to Tell Your Friends. Find out the funny answer in today's jokes! A. What do you call a horse wearing Venetian blinds?A zebra. Excuse me, good sir, the horse says, are you hiring?, The manager looks the horse up and down and says, Sorry, pal. Which side of the horse has the most hair?The outside. Now onto some more horse jokes. Horses live in every region of the world except Antarctica and the northern Arctic regions of North America Europe and Asia. Domestic horses have a lifespan of around 25 years. 82.) Whos there?Toledo. 79.) The horsepital. What fruit do twins love. A: Can I ask equitation? Dont! Horses can run shortly after birth. When it comes to horses, having a good sense of humor comes in handy, but whether your life spend around your equine companions or not, there are some hilarious horse jokes that we can all appreciate. A horse-pital! These 31 horse jokes will entertain audiences of all ages (especially adults) with clever puns and witty punchlines. The second dog replies with Thats nothing, Ive won fourteen of my last twenty races. Jon Bon Pony Back in the 90s, horses loved to listen to songs by Jon Bon Pony! A colt shower! 55.) What is a cats favorite breakfast. Now, as promised, lets get into these horse puns that will make you laugh your butt off. Three racehorses are staying in a stable. A. The vet said, Yes, of course and I think you will probably win. One of them starts to boast about his track record: In the last 15 races, Ive won eight of them!, Another horse breaks in: Well, in the last 27 races, Ive won 19!. Hey says the barman. The ending comes into equestrian! How do you make a small fortune on horse racing?Start with a large fortune.What kind of food do race horses like to eat?Fast food.Whats similar between a racehorse and a leaky faucet?Theyre both off and running.Theres only one time vampires like watching a horse race.When its neck and neck.A racehorse once smoked some weed just before the race was about to start.Once it started, the jockey couldnt control it as it veered off track. If you want to make your day and lift your mood, look no further. Why is the Kentucky Derby always done in the middle of spring? 4. Horses live in every region of the world except Antarctica and the northern Arctic regions of North America Europe and Asia. A: He had the knight off. Horses require tons of care. What kind of horse is the fastest?A pregnant one, because it has 2 horsepower. Everyone evacuates to the Cowboys Stadium! Well, let it be known that horse jokes arent just for kids anymore! What do you call a horse that lives next door. The room goes dead silent. As a trained teacher and now private tutor, I help children learn math every day, and I use this blog to share some tips and tricks with parents like you. A woman asks her vet if she will be able to race her horse again. 6.) A: The other half! CTRL + SPACE for auto-complete. My horse invited me to church. In the N e i g h bourhood . 80.) There are plenty of horse jokes out there, and while it was hard to pick favorites, we decided to put together a list of some of the horse jokes we laughed at the most. As equestrian lovers, it can be difficult sometimes to express the pure joy that comes to us when someone uses horse puns or drops some horse jokes. More than half of the feral horses in the Western United States are in Nevada. Horse jokes are better when they are short and sweet, so that's where this convenient list of horse jokes comes in handy. Knock knock knock knock. Almost all of the horses alive today are domesticated and. A: A seahorse. 66.) His life coach told him to get off his high horse. A: The Globe Trotters. 17. 89.) Q: What do horses see before thunder? There once lived a family of balloons, there was: A mommy balloon, a daddy balloon and a kid balloon. You can clip a small part of any file to share, add to playlist, and transcribe automatically. What do you call a well-balanced horse?Stable. Mane Street. 37.) 10.) Did these horse puns give you a hoof and a holler! At this point, a fed up racehorse pokes his head round the corner and says Youre both pathetic, Ive won ninety-nine of my last hundred races, and only lost one because I was ill. What happens if there is a close finish in a horse race? A: In the bridle suite. 8.) The cowboy wipes the sweat off his forehead. You'll stirrup a hayload of fun for all your friends and family. Some poor horse is walking around in his socks. A: Broncos vs. Colts. 5.) Did you hear about the horse that cheated in the derby? Some poor horse is walking around in socks. The owner says, "Well, he's flat out a liar! Ive led a full life, the horse answers miraculously. However, the oldest domestic horse on record was Old Billy, who died at the age of 62. He asks the horse's owner, "Why would you want to sell this fantastic animal?". This blog is brought to you by Diagnostic Imaging Systems. Heres a collection of horse jokes for kids. What do you call a horse that has a ton of money in the bank? And now, I spend my days giving free rides to underprivileged kids here in the country., The guy is flabbergasted. Q. Whats do horses play for fun? Answer: The horses shadow. There are lots of jokes available online, but if youre looking for a collection of the best ones, youve come to the right place. When you tell your child the answer to the joke be sure to neigh as you say the word neighborhood. Interesting Fact Since the Arabian horses have been developed in the desert climate, they are known for their excellent endurance and speed. Uproarious Horse Jokes to Share with Friends A horse walked into a bar Bartender: Hey Horse: Yes please Why would the circus need a bartender?Which side of a horse has more hair?The outside.I put a bet on a horse that had excellent breeding. A: Stable. Well, by the look of it, the man says, Youll win!Have you ever heard of the band Foals?They have a colt following.How did the horse with the speech impediment feel after corrective surgery went wrong?A bit filly.What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horses mouth?A mechanic.What does it mean if you find a horseshoe?Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.I recently bought a female Horse that I was hoping to ride daily, but she only sleeps during the day.Shes turning out to be such a Nightmare.I put a bet on a horse to come in at 10 to 1 and it did! (scratch is when a horse it taken out of a race). How do you treat a horse who has a cold? The Desperado swears, steps back into the bar, and fires a round into the piano. How do you get a ponys attention?Shout Hey!. Which horse can jump higher than a house?All of them houses cant jump at all. Shows. Read More 45 Funny Minecraft JokesContinue. Tagged as: Where do horses live. She impressed all the horses with her whip and neigh neigh. 23.) Make sure to check out our other posts for more hilarious content and entertainment! He thought he might get a kick out of it! But I think youll get beaten by him at any time!. A: A night mare. If you thought that one was good, dont forget to check out these hilarious cow jokes. A: He got colt feet. They might be a little hoarse! Your email address will not be published. A: He was a disk jockey from Filly. Horses have around 205 bones in their skeleton. He graduated from the University of Nebraska-Omaha with a degree in Secondary Education, and he has his MS in Educational Leadership from Northwest Missouri State University. Switch your brushing to the other side of the top of your mouth and brush the molars in the back too. You get a kick out of it be able to race her horse again by him at any time.! Hey! food do racehorses like to eat done in the hundred acre wood lets into. 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